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Home >> BMTimes >> Love Jokes
Thursday, November 27, 2014  Don't Miss Next BM Times Article! Subscribe
 
 

Funny Love Jokes
 

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game.

That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.

At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?'

Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'

The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?'

'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'



There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,

"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."



Two bachelors were talking about their respective choice of life partner. One friend said,'It is generally said that people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages. What is your opinion ?
The friend replied,'Yes, they are right. That is why I am looking for a girl with a money!'



A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."



A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"

The Manager replied, "Which one? We have, 'Barbie goes to the gym'for $19.95 ...

'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ...

'Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 ...

'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95...

'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ...

and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00."

"Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised.

"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."

 
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Posted by:  creston On:  2/20/2013 11:52:51 PM
the first joke is mine, fyi: the first joke is mine published in a book I did with Zizek: http://books.google.com/books?id=3-pOBEl_pBgC&pg=PA114&lpg=PA114&dq=Paul's+New+Moment+Creston+Davis+mother&source=bl&ots=hhSoadQOsp&sig=Y0brnMaPn38ooB6OuJMDqZvkkYw&hl=en&sa=X&ei=yBElUYCWGsfUqAGNpYGIBQ&ved=0CF8Q6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=Paul's%20New%20Moment%20Creston%20Davis%20mother&f=false
 
Posted by:  oguns network On:  2/9/2013 8:42:41 AM
Two Lovers Plan to die: Two Lovers Plan to die
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
 
Posted by:  moghata On:  11/27/2012 5:34:18 PM
congratulations: wow guys that was just awesome loved them like anything
 
Posted by:  jayron On:  9/19/2012 1:58:12 PM
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Posted by:  Yogesh chauhan On:  9/10/2012 7:39:05 PM
Love: Love...
 
Posted by:  mubarak On:  6/28/2012 10:15:51 PM
:
 
Posted by:  Nidhish On:  6/12/2012 7:27:31 PM
hiiiii: hiiii
 
Posted by:  prince Asare On:  4/29/2012 2:09:34 AM
hi: i like the jokes
 
Posted by:  mohit On:  4/12/2012 4:41:17 PM
MOHIT: HELLO
 
Posted by:  haris On:  1/24/2012 2:55:05 PM
love: love is funny
 
Posted by:  Pait On:  8/28/2011 8:02:53 PM
Finllay! This is just what I was looking for.: Finllay! This is just what I was looking for.
 
Posted by:  haimanot gezachew On:  4/28/2011 1:12:20 PM
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Posted by:  akash On:  4/21/2011 6:48:27 PM
love is funny: it takes out treas from eyes
 
Posted by:  anirudhnikil On:  3/18/2011 1:36:16 PM
NO COMMENT: "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

 
 
 
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